So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize
