I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
