Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
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