That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
