actually, I'm a sock model
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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