What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
