How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
just tell him i said nine months
Green mimosas i think yes
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
