I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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