he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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