YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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