I wish I could teleport
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
