so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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