I understand Curling. That high.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
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I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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