so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize