i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
