Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
