Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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