he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Randomize
