Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
