I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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