You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
