like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
