I'm drive I can fine osifer
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
It's blow job season.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
