sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
