she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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