therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
She's the barista slut.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
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