i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
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