i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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