the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Randomize
