I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize