I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
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