I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
A bitchslap is in order.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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