oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
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