I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize