it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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