Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
