My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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