hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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