sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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