need another drink. this is the easiest way
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
