Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Terrible idea I love it
Randomize
