Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
