You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
