he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize