This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
