tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I understand Curling. That high.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Randomize
