he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
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