Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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