guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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