p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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