it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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