I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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