nut hugger
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
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