I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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